The Statue of Limitations

     Wow, what wild and wooly times we live in, eh?  This roller coaster called life is hanging onto the rails for dear life as it rockets through another hairpin turn.  What will happen next?  Why is everything such a powder keg just waiting to explode due to a series of people fighting over the best way to use the flint over a trail of gunpowder?  It truly is a nail biter!  I mean this National League Central Division, right?  Will the Brewers keep it together while the Cubs can’t help but give it all away?  And those Cardinals!  If the pitching holds, I think the Brew Crew can…huh?  What?  Oh, you want to talk about this statue stuff?  Really?  Okay, fine…

      Seeing as how screaming about statues that haven’t hurt anyone until the past 23 minutes or so is completely in vogue now, I’ll pause and offer my meager thoughts amidst the cacophony.  There’s so much static out there right now and civility is so rare, Indiana Jones is out there somewhere fighting Nazis trying to get it.  (Oops.  I mentioned Nazis.  Too soon?)

      There are so many out there with blowhard opinions that I’m sure whatever I say will be shouted down by people who are even more ill-informed than I am, which is quite sad.  Even sadder is the fact that the culture has become so frustrated with everything that there’s a fraction that decided out of the clear blue sky to get angry at inanimate objects.  Somehow some people have tricked themselves into believing there’s a need to conquer historical images of Confederate soldiers and generals.

      I’d just like to address these people directly: does an image of Robert E. Lee or “Stonewall” Jackson or J.E.B. Stuart truly send you into a frothing rage of an apoplectic fit?  Really and truly?  I’ll wager that the odds are none of you ever talked to any of these guys or fought against them in 1863.  I’ll allow that some of you might be highlanders, so there might be a slight percentage that sat on Lee’s lap while he was planning at Cold Harbor, but I think my bet is safe. 

      Does anyone realize what an incredible distraction this is?  This is as ludicrous as when a royal family would dig up a long dead rival to the throne and decapitate whatever remained to make some vague point.  I guess there’s a certain satisfaction that would come with digging up whatever remained of Josef Goebbels or Woodrow Wilson and killing those guys all over again, but it does seem rather hollow, doesn’t it?  Although I’m sure wherever they are, Wilson and Goebbels have had a lot in common to talk about in the intervening decades despite the heat. 

      The mayor of Madison, WI recently said that he was going to take down the memorial rolls that commemorated the Confederate prisoners of war that died at Camp Randall.  I think the first thought that most Madisonians had was, “There’s a plaque for that?!  Since when?  I was too busy trying to sell my bootleg “Bucky F*ck ‘Em!” shirts to ever notice.”  Wow, what a progressive stand.  I guess when you can’t handle with the issues of today, you futilely fumble with issues from 150 years ago and dump on some long dead POWs.

      What’s next?  Publicity seeking maroons demanding other statues and memorials come down?  Oh, wait.  They have already.  Where will it end?  Are we going to tear down statues of William T. Sherman or Phil Sheridan?  They were Union generals but they also were Indian killers out West after the Civil War.  Look at the list of Presidents that owned slaves.  History is not squeaky clean.  Everyone has skeletons in their closets.  Some skeletons come out long after the historical figure has died.  Others pop out at random intervals during investigations into the Clinton family.

      I guess I find this current attitude amongst some of the citizenry to be disheartening.  When we could be making strides to bridge gaps, there are always some clowns that decide to result to violence to get their point across.  When you resort to that, you’ve lost me entirely, regardless of what side of the political spectrum you fall on.  I guess the only reason I might be glad about this destructive mood towards statues by certain buffoons is because it means that they are targeting someone who is long dead instead of someone who is still breathing above ground.

     Frankly these people lost me when they went after The Dukes of Hazzard due to the stars and bars being on the top of the General Lee.  Again, you’re going to tell me that you were seething with blistering rage back in 1983 when you saw that Dodge Charger paused in mid-air while Waylon Jennings said something folksy before the commercial break?  Yeah, no.  I didn’t care for your politics beforehand, but going after a multi car crash, squeaky clean show that was a staple of my childhood cemented my reactive middle finger in your “outraged” direction.

      So with all that being said to predominantly deaf ears, I would now like to suggest even more statues that can be attacked for even more mundane reasons if this is truly the path that they have chosen.  No, you're welcome!  I'm happy to do it for you.

 

For jumping the shark and for subjecting the rest of us to that phrase, bring this statue down!

So, 8 seasons in North Carolina and not one cast member of color?!  Tear it down!

So no Franklin?  Bring it down!

If you can save the bench, great.  Otherwise, get that abomination torn down!

Surely, this statue came down already, right?  No? 

Wow, what some people will do to sell tacos in Seattle. 

Bring it down now!

Obviously this statue gives certain people delusions of grandeur.

Tear it down and then tear it down again!

      Now these examples are all ludicrous, although I do hope one day that there is a Sanford and Son statue because that show was hilarious.  I also hope that one day we can get back to actually talking to actual live people instead of attacking the dead ones.

      That would indeed be progress.

No Longer Incognito: My Penchant For Puppet-Based Riffing

            All right, all right, all right!  Simmer down now people!  I’ve heard all of the clamor and the furor and the random unexplained but curiously not unwelcome wolf whistles, and despite substantial evidence to the contrary, I’m going to fulfill your needs by taking pen to screen and writing another post immediately.  Well, immediately as in “after I finish this delicious piece of almond kringle immediately”, but the spirit is there at least.  There, finished.  Although if pieces are left over, is a kringle truly “finished”?  But that philosophical debate is for another day as I want to dive headlong into being a total fanboy for just a smidge.  But first some backstory.

            Back in the early 1990s, when mastodons roamed the earth and there was still leaded gasoline readily available, there was a show that emerged from the wastelands to conquer my tastes forever.  In those days there was a fledgling cable channel called The Comedy Channel, then CTV: The Comedy Network for about 13 minutes, then Comedy Central, then finally when the naming dust settled: South Park, with some Comedy Central (Time Permitting).  Ah, those were halcyon days, watching endless reruns of McHale’s Navy, CPO Sharkey, and Sgt. Bilko.  There were even some non-military shows, but the names escape me for the moment.

This photo shows why McHale's Navy was the sexiest show on TV.

 

            Oh wait, now I remember!  There was Alan King: Inside the Comedy Mind, Comics Only with Paul Provenza, Dead Comics Society hosted by Robert Klein, Night After Night with Allan Havey, Stand Up Stand Up, Two Drink Minimum, London Underground, Whose Line Is It Anyway? and Short Attention Span Theater with Jon Stewart and Patty Rosborough.  (I wonder whatever became of Stewart after that show.  Hope things turned out okay for that plucky young man.)  With such a bevy of shows, I was introduced to a myriad of stand-up comedians whose work I still enjoy to this day.

Yes, there used to be real comedians on Comedy Central at one time.

 

            Yet there was one signature show that walked like a demigod among the rest.  A show that branded the network like none other.  No, not Sports Monster.  I am of course speaking about the one, the only: Mystery Science Theater 3000.  I have been a fan of the show since the beginning of the second season in 1990 and have never looked back.  I taped episodes and bought souvenirs and posters and official VHS tapes and DVD sets and the episode guide.  I eagerly followed the various splinter groups, books, and projects that the cast members did after their ten-season run such as Mike Nelson’s solo DVD commentaries, the Film Crew, Rifftrax, and Cinematic Titanic.  I loved that show through and through and was quite sad to see it end.

So I like a certain show a bit too much, back off!

 

            But it turns out that it wasn’t the end!  Sure it took some years to pass, but the show I loved was back in a slightly twinged format with new faces and a new attitude!  I was leery at first because I didn’t know what I was getting into, given my love of the original show, so I took a chance and have been rewarded many times over.  I thought that new faces couldn’t carry on the movie riffing greatness, but I was wrong.  Thank you, Incognito Cinema Warriors XP, for making us laugh at love!  Again. 

            What?  Oh, you thought that I was going to mention something else?  What made you think that?  Oh, there’s a new season of Mystery Science Theater?  Hm.  Hadn’t heard about that.  Golly, I hope it is close to being as good as ICWXP! 
 

            Now, of course I know that there’s a new season of MST3K and I suppose that’s just great, but from what I’ve watched so far, it just hasn’t struck me the way that ICWXP or even the original MST run has.  That might not be everyone’s inner fan soul’s thinking, but it is mine and as I write this damn blog, I’m going to prattle on about what I enjoy.  And namely, what I enjoy is Incognito Cinema Warriors XP.      

             I stumbled upon the show in a very pedestrian way.  Many moons ago as I was perusing the Rifftrax DVD catalog in the hopes that I had missed a release, I realized that my cursed collector’s instincts were still intact and yes, I had them all.  About to scamper away from this supposed dead end, I then scrolled down and saw it: a DVD that had Lady Frankenstein on the cover.  I didn’t remember Rifftrax covering this movie, so what’s all this about now?  I didn’t recognize anything about this Incognito whatever group, but Mike Nelson himself had given them an endorsement.  As I was desperate for anything riffing related, I placed my order.

Lady Frankenstein is here to keep abreast of things.  No, you're welcome!

            The disc showed up at our apartment and I told my wife that this could either royally suck or be great, with the odds being that it would suck.  I mean, let’s face it, I believe any fan of MST thinks that they are just the wittiest wiseasses when watching a bad movie with their friends.  Most fail and I count myself in that failing group.  Riffing is an art and there’s nothing worse than having to hear some fan who thinks they are the Second Coming, plodding away through a showing of Ed Wood’s Night of the Ghouls, attempting to throw spontaneous and original thoughts of comedy gold, only to mercifully die on the vine a mere 13 minutes into the movie. 

            So we watched this offering, expectations low indeed, but at least we’d only be out about ten bucks.  And then it happened: we started to laugh, guardedly at first.  Then we kept on laughing and by the end, we really enjoyed what we saw!  We loved the riffing and the writing.  The vibe of this low budget, using duct tape and spit to put on show attitude was remarkable.  You could tell there was passion in this project and this just wasn’t some kind of half-assed fan rip-off.  This was a full-ass homage!  (“Full-ass homage”?  That didn’t sound right.  Eh, I’m keeping it in.)  Sure, there were puppets in shadow mocking a movie, that much is parallel with MST3K, but besides that, ICWXP was entirely its own animal.

            Setting the show during the zombie apocalypse was a new take, forcing the character of Commander Rick Wolf to get stuck in a movie theater watching bad movies with robot companions Johnny Cylon and Topsy Bot 5000.  They were originally designed to be theater service bots by the mad scientist that decided to subject them to bad movies.  The puppets were witty and had some real personalities as well.  They were definitely more antagonistic and confrontational than a MST3K robot, but it was a good and necessary shift for the sake of making the show’s own identity. 

            Bottom line: I had to get more of this show.  There was another show on DVD: Bloody Pit of Horror and then another: Werewolf in a Girls’ Dormitory.  The second season then switched format a touch and went with short subjects to riff on instead of the feature length movies.  Something else that shifted was the emphasis on the show’s storyline.  Now MST3K never really gave a toss about their storylines.  But show creator and jack of all trades Rikk Wolf definitely cares about the craft of a good connecting overarching storyline.  Yes, the riffing is still top notch, but the character development and storyline has been fantastic to boot.  I find myself getting caught up in the show’s plot more so than the actual film they are riffing, which I never thought would happen.

Hm, looks like a normal level of fandom to me. 
And yes, that is an Octopussy autograph on the wall too.
And yes again, I just wanted to write the word "Octopussy".

 

            I became a Kickstarter backer then and a Patreon supporter now.  We, and by “we” I mean “mostly my kids”, even got a chance to have a video conference with another character from ICWXP: Flux Namtari.  I have gladly picked up show-related t-shirts and other merchandise.  Their show is in constant rotation in my house whether it be the DVDs or on YouTube.  It was great seeing the show get an official nod by having a spot in the MST3K Phase 2: The Quickening Kickstarter telethon.  If I’m ever pressed to just have something on that I know won’t disappoint me, I reach for ICWXP without fail.  I’ve given unsuspecting friends and family copies of the show DVDs.  (Am I pressing the point that I’ve just become an annoying geeked-out soul?  Oh, good.  I didn’t want that lost in the translation.)

            ICWXP has even stretched a bit and have done video game riffing under the Incognito Gaming Warriors XP banner.  I’ve never been anything you’d call a gamer in my life, unless you count Duck Tales on the NES and GoldenEye on the N64 back in the day.  That being said, IGWXP was so good, I sat through the entire remastered Resident Evil walkthrough they did and loved every moment!  My wife, who has held a game controller even less that I have, finds herself enraptured with video games like never before.  I’d get a console of some sort, but the caveat is that Rikk and the group would have to be in the room commenting whilst we played.  This would be fun, but is rather impractical.        

Rikk himself has shown himself to be quite a nice down to earth fellow who is gracious with his time, despite enduring the long hours and months writing, filming, acting, editing, and everything in-between and around as well.  Frankly I don’t know how he even finds time to eat dinner or avoid watching reruns of Two and a Half Men, but somehow he does it.  Fortunately, Rikk has had a great team around him with Bethanie Woods, Nick Evans, Jason Chaffee, and Zack Legler being at the forefront.  They and others behind the scenes have been going above and beyond for years and deserve every kudo possible on the planet.  In fact, I’m only for more space exploration so we can find other interstellar kudos to extend their way.

Only a show this good could make this hat one of my most cherished possessions.

 

On a personal note, I want to thank Rikk for two reasons.  First, thank you for digging yourself in like this and putting out such a wonderful product.  From the first episode through the latest Let’s Riff video game playthrough, you can see such incredible growth and mastering of skills.  The writing which was sharp to begin with has only gotten sharper.  The filming, editing, and effects look great without betraying the fact that the budgets are lower than minimal.  Your efforts pay off in spades: ICWXP looks and comes across damn good.

 Second, I enjoy writing.  I always did despite never having the education or real skills to back me up.  In college I would write occasional articles for the local college paper and despite having to edit myself due it being a sort of parochial ministerial establishment, I liked it.  But aside from my annual Christmas non-newsletters and the occasional longwinded Facebook note, I never really bothered with it as much as I would have liked.  Now my wife was a big influence to get off my duff and actually put some stuff down on electronic paper.  But the other big influence was Rikk Wolf.  I saw what he could do with low resources and high determination, somehow putting out such a hilarious and fun show.  So I thought why not put something out too?  Hence this format and yet another blog to muddy the usually ever clear waters of the Interwebnets.

So for that reason and for so many other reasons, I thank you, Rikk.  I know that there have been some perilous times and ICWXP has stayed around in spite of them.  The fanbase is smaller than others, but it also is loyally rabid and always eager for new material.  If I can use my middling format to help the show, I gladly do so with this posting!  For those of you reading this that hate my blog, first off, thanks for the views anyway and second, don’t blame Rikk and thirdly, you should check out ICWXP anyway.



Yes folks, ICWXP has a candy counter.

 

Also, thanks to Rikk for the shout out on the recent DVD commentary!  In all honesty there are only a handful of shows that I would ever consider baking Christmas cookies for.  However, The Bob Newhart Show is off the air, Boss Hogg passed away, and Tom Selleck for whatever reason doesn’t return my calls, so ICWXP got the nod.        

 Now, all this cookie talk has made me hungry and as this kringle won’t eat itself, I best tuck in because kringle is never finished.  Just like ICWXP.  Think I’ll watch some as I munch.