Since the world was clamoring for yet another person to fill up the rapidly dwindling space on the Interwebs, I have decided to take the bull by the horns (the trumpets, actually) and state that I am proud to have been given this honor after taking it by force. And why not? My opinion is certainly as valid as any other person that is in total agreement with me, so why shouldn’t I state it on a public forum such as this? Well, public in the sense that I rule over it and am the final arbitrator in moments of conflict. But like buses and open trough urinals, it is indeed a public convenience.
I think back to the dark dim days of the fledging Interwebnet and think of the massive contribution that I made by doing nothing to help it along. I remember first discovering email at college and being so pleased that I could send 7 word sentences from my dank computer room in my dank dormitory to other dank computer rooms in other dank dormitories throughout the world, let alone across the dank campus. Truly this innovation was the focal point of the universe. This is certainly the result of science and other sciencey things that happened. Surely Custer would be pleased at knowing that his sacrifice was indeed not in vain, if for no other reason that we can now look up how foolish he was in a matter of seconds. (Personally, I never knew why Custer didn’t just hide out in that nice Little Big Horn gift shop until the fighting subsided. After all, it was in sight of where he was massacred. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him use the air-conditioned restrooms inside I guess.)
I can only promise several things about this blog. It will be updated in a sketchy and unreliable manner. I shall attempt to post things only after my wife has embarrassed me enough to actually log in and do just that. My outrage will always be justified according to the parameters that I have set up for myself. Opinions from others that conflict with mine will of course be considered “cute” and patted on the head as I shake my head condescendingly at them. I will also state that there are definitely more reliable places than this to learn about car maintenance, taxidermy, and the perfect soufflé recipes.
The one thing I shall definitely make every effort to accomplish is to throw up random movie appraisals. Of course these films will definitely not be current Hollywood fare, but from deep within the collection that I have from all different genres, all actors, all actresses, all directors. This serves two purposes: 1) to bring attention to the masses about several thousand guilty pleasures and overlooked films in my film library and 2) to justify to my wife the collection that I do have already and why building another wing onto our abode in order to house more of the collection is a worthwhile endeavor. (Purpose #2 is actually the only one worth considering; the first one was thrown in just so I’d have more than one listed.)
So without further ado, because frankly there is plenty ado in the world already with me having to add to it, this enterprise begins! As Mr. Marx once shouted from his opera box, I say also, “Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor!”
